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《冯巩经典语录(冯巩说过的话)》精选 分享到:

冯巩经典语录(冯巩说过的话)

发布时间:2014-08-11所属栏目:经典语录
  

幸运飞艇开奖直播 www.52kongyaji.com 冯巩经典语录(冯巩说过的话)

 1 姑娘们??!哪有那麽多白马???找个驴凑合得了,别等到有一天驴都被抢没了,剩一堆骡子... 

2 所谓美女,三分长相七分打扮、所谓气质,三分才气七分装蒜、所谓温柔,三分忍让七分压抑。 
 
3 下辇子要做筷子,就不孤单了! 
 
4 你的话,我连标点符号都不信。 
 
5 此处不留爷,自有留爷处。处处不留爷,爷回家做家务。 
 
6 铁公鸡还会留点儿铁锈呢,你根本就是个不锈钢公鸡! 
 
7 陪我一起数星星吧,你智商低你就数月亮吧! 
 
8 我太佩服我自己了,有时候照镜子的时候都给自己磕头! 
 
9 最有魅力的人是“康师傅”天都有成千上万的人泡他。 
 
10 想你想得饭都吃不下,真是太恶心了! 
 
11 其实我以前个子挺高的,只不过后来经常洗澡缩水了而已。 
 
12 为什麽我一直感觉不幸福,难道是当幸福来敲门的时候,我不在家 
 
13、干掉熊猫,我就是国宝! 
 
14、别和我谈理想,戒了! 
 
15、跌倒了,爬起来再哭~~~ 
 
16、低调!才是最牛B的炫耀??! 
 
17、不吃饱哪有力气减肥??? 
 
18、真不好意思,让您贱笑了。 
 
19、我能抵抗一切,除了诱惑…… 
 
20、老子不但有车,还是自行的…… 
 
21、点的是烟、抽的却是寂寞…… 
 
22、不是你不笑,一笑粉就掉! 
 
23、人又不聪明,还学别人秃顶。 
 
24、绑不住我的心就不要说我花心! 
 
25、再牛b的肖邦,也弹不出老子的悲伤! 
 
26、活着的时候开心点,因为我们要死很久。 
 
27、请你以后不要在我面前说英文了,OK? 
 
28、我这人从不记仇,一般有仇当场我就报了。 
 
29、没什么事不要找我,有事更不用找我! 
 
30、我那么喜欢你,你喜欢我一下会死啊? 
 
冯巩语录
 
31、我又不是人民币,怎么能让人人都喜欢我? 
 
32、男人的话就像老太太的牙齿,有多少是真的?! 
 
33、问:你喜欢我哪一点?答:我喜欢你离我远一点! 
 
34、执子之手,方知子丑,泪流满面,子不走我走。 
 
35、诸葛亮出山前,也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验? 
 
36、珍惜生活——上帝还让你活着,就肯定有他的安排。 
 
37、雷锋做了好事不留名,但是每一件事情都记到日记里面。 
 
38、师太,你是我心中的魔,贫僧离你越近,就离佛越远…… 
 
39、初中的体育老师说:谁敢再穿裙子上我的课,就罚她倒立。 
 
40、自己选择45°仰视别人,就休怪他人135°俯视着看你。 
 
41、如果你看到面前的阴影,别怕,那是因为你的背后有阳光! 
 
42、我允许你走进我的世界,但绝不允许你在我的世界里走来走去。 
 
43、人永远不知道谁哪次不经意的跟你说了再见之后就真的再也不见了。 
 
44、一分钟有多长?这要看你是蹲在厕所里面,还是等在厕所外面…… 
 
45、爱,就大声说出来,因为你永远都不会知道,明天和意外,哪个会先来! 
 
46、你永远看不到我最寂寞的时候,因为在看不到你的时候就是我最寂寞的时候! 
 
47、听说女人如衣服,兄弟如手足,回想起来,我竟然七手八脚地裸奔了二十多年! 
 
48、今天心情不好,我只有四句话想说,包括这句和前面的两句,我的话说完了! 
 
49、铁饭碗的真实含义不是在一个地方吃一辈子饭,而是一辈子到哪儿都有饭吃。 
 
50、就算是一坨屎,也有遇见屎壳郎的那天。所以你大可不必为今天的自己有太多担忧。 
 
51、如果中了一千万,我就去买30套房子租给别人,每天都去收一次房租。哇咔咔~~充实! 
 
52、“恋”是个很强悍的字。它的上半部取自“变态”的“变”,下半部取自“变态”的“态”。 (幸运飞艇开奖直播 www.52kongyaji.com 经典语录)
 
53、再过几十年,我们来相会,送到火葬场,全部烧成灰,你一堆,我一堆,谁也不认识谁,全部送到农村做化肥。 
 
54、我爸说过的最让我感动的一句话:“孩子,好好学习吧,爸以前玩麻将都玩儿10块的,现在为了供你念书,改玩儿1块的了。” 
 
55、同志们:别炒股,风险太大了,还是做豆腐最安全!做硬了是豆腐干,做稀了是豆腐脑,做薄了是豆腐皮,做没了是豆浆,放臭了是臭豆腐!稳赚不亏呀!
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